Have Your Cake...

After someone at work mentioned I hadn’t posted in months I made a mental note to post soon. Fast-forward several months later, and look, I’ve actually done it! Yay me!

(Paste gold star here.)

Anyhoo, I hosted a huge summer reading cooking program. Some would call me insane (I prefer ambitious) but we made a boat load of food. Now that I’m on an “eating plan” (the polite term for diet), I’m glad I went all out because I can’t have any of the foods we made, meaning right about now the only thing stopping me from braining someone for a peanut butter cookie is that I don’t feel like calling Hyjentec. We made toaster oven pizzas, BBQ pulled chicken with crackers, chocolate dipped strawberries, dinner salad, peach cobbler, popcorn, carrots with dip, decorated cookies and made cake pops. The kids loved it, one saying, “We should do this again!” before I even had a chance to recover, pat her gently on the head and say, “That’s nice, dear,” and another telling her mom she wanted to do some of these things for her birthday party, which made mom happy since it’s a lot cheaper than a bounce house.

My work here is done.

After watching someone make cake pops from scratch on TV, I concluded the process made the time I amended my taxes by hand seem downright joyful. I went online for easier ways. The easier ways weren’t quite easy enough for me, so I came up with my own because sometimes making something doable sometimes trumps my Martha Stewart dreams.

Sometimes...


Easy-Peasy Cake Pops

Ingredients:
Donut holes (purchased a box of 55 at Safeway)
Vanilla Frosting (room temperature)
Sprinkles (I got the tub, put them in small cups with spoons)
Food coloring (optional)

Other materials:
Popsicle sticks
Butter knives
Paper plate
Spoons
Cups

1. Spear a donut hole with a popsicle stick.
2. Smother said donut hole with delicious, sugary, ooey gooey I-wish-I-was-allowed-to-eat-this frosting. I made several batches in different pastel colors.
3. Over a paper plate, sprinkle the cake pop with sprinkles.
4. Use the paper plate to funnel the leftover sprinkles back into the sprinkle container.

Okay, I’m off to eat some more broccoli now, but feel free to enjoy your cake pops. Just not in front of me, seeing as that would be totally wrong...

I Hunger For You

I’ve been sick. If you’re sick on your off day, there goes your fun. If you’re sick during work, there goes your PTO. And if you’re sick at my house, there goes any sympathy. I got to hear things like, “Your room is a mess,” and “After you go to the doctor’s we need to run errands/do things that involve you baking in the car.”

So I’m at home, freaking out at my medication’s side effects (“Tell your doctor if you know someone who owns a cat or might want to purchase a home…”) and trying to nap, only to be interrupted by one nephew setting off the alarm (“Oops!”), another wanting homework help, and an annoying relative at the door. At least this one didn’t have a suitcase, but I treat relatives like I’m a native and they’re 15th century explorers ready to give me smallpox-infested blankets in order to take my home.

Thus I was miserable and my (non-annoying) family was giving me that “You’re not contagious, right?” look when it hit me: either I can read or they’d decide I should cook.

Cooking was not happening.

The Hunger Games trilogy had been on my reading list for a while. When I opened the first book up it still had the receipt in it…

The Borders receipt.

Guess I should have put reading the series higher up on my To Do list.

These books are harsh, yet I enjoyed them and I’m going to see the movie with my older nephew, preparing myself for what’s likely to be brutal violence, but for myself, it having violence in it is not as important as what it doesn’t have:

Katherine Heigl, Jennifer Anistan, Adam Sandler, Tyler Perry as Madea, the Wayans Brothers, Robert Pattinson, Shia Lebeof or a non-animated Eddie Murphy.

Violence couldn’t possibly traumatize me as much as that drive-in double feature of “The Bounty Hunter” and “Remember Me” did.

That said, why do folks want to take young kids to see The Hunger Games? Did I miss the notation on the calendar stating it is Take Your Child to be Traumatized Day? Yesterday I had a tour of 4th and 5th graders. Some had read the book; some had holds. (Good luck with that, patron number 930!) Most wanted to see the movie. However, when the teacher asked my opinion, the kids groaned because I said, “My personal opinion, which is not the opinion of others, is that parents should review movies beforehand to decide if they are appropriate. After reading the book and reviewing film information I decided against taking an 11 year old to see it.”

Instead he can see something more to his level, like the R-rated comedy “21 Jump Street.”

Seriously, if you review the movie yourself and decide it is fine for your child you’re out an extra $10.50. If you decide it’ll give them nightmares, you’ve saved a bunch of psychiatric care co-pays.

But then again, what do I know?

Anyway, I saw a card similar to this card in a pop-up card book. Then I realized I wasn’t willing to do the 8 million steps it required, so I simplified it a bit. It’s easiest to have volunteers put together the first part of the card, then have participants decorate. You can also print words onto the white cardstock so that things are nice and pretty when you’re all finished. (Writing after you’ve glue a bunch of stuff on can be tricky!)

Pop Up Cards


Card supplies:
Cardstock---white and assorted color
Scissors
Glue sticks

Decorations:
Crayons and pens
Multi colored paper
stickers
Glitter glue

Directions:
1. Fold 2 pieces of card stock---inner and outer---in half

2. Take the inner card stock and fold it no more than 1/3 of the way over. Reverse the fold.
3. Unfold the inner paper to reveal a pop up.

4. Glue the inner cardstock to the outer cardstock on both ends, being careful to maintain the pop up.

5. Allow card shells to dry before storing them away.
6. When ready to use, have participants decorate them with paper flowers. If you have tons of volunteers, have them cut out/die cut shapes so that smaller children can do this craft

Happy Hunger Games!

Easy as Pi

Some things in life aren’t easy. Like the other day, when I had to tell tough tattooed teen, aka, my nephew, that our sheepdog Peaches had died…in the 1990s. My sister hadn’t wanted to break the news to him, so when he came over and asked, “Where’s Peaches?” my grocery cashier brother said the first thing that came to his mind: “She went to the store.” Which was a problem, because whenever my nephew went to a store he would ask, “Is Peaches here?” So I morphed the story over the years, to the point in which we were sitting around a waiting room and I mentioned missing having a dog and he responded by saying, “Then you really shouldn’t have sent Peaches away to live on a sheep farm.” As all the adults in the room gave me that knowing look I said, “Oh, yeah. That farm…up north…”

Way up north…

Where she enjoys chasing sheep to this day…

Other things in life are easy. Like when the supervisor asked everyone if they wanted to bring in pies for Pi Day. Americans have never needed an excuse to eat dessert, though we will grab latch onto one if possible. There was apple pie, cherry pie, banana cream pie, peanut butter pie, unidentifiable-yet-good-looking pie, and I brought cookies. I figured we’d get sick of pie, but no one gets sick of cookies. This is how I ended up at home groaning from with the trifecta of allergies, an overly full stomach, and forcing myself to exercise when all I wanted to do was lie on the couch rubbing my eyes while my family yelled, “Stop touching your face!” But this is okay, because the next day someone brought in a vegan veggie pie, which, like hitting Ctrl Alt Delete and clicking restart, is the equivalent of a new beginning.

Another easy thing is tile crafts. I did this a few years ago. Back before I realized the only people who should attempt renovations themselves are either HGTV hosts or married to them, I would wander home improvement stores for ideas, until I came up with the best one yet---buying a brand new home. During one of these trips I came across 4x4 tiles marked 75% off and thought, “Wouldn’t it be cute to let the kids decorate them with Sharpies?” Normally I would clear a store out of good deals, but those puppies are heavy! When an employee offered to load them into the cart I was tempted to ask, “Can you take them all the way to work for me?” Thus I settled for a reasonable amount I could lift without a back brace.

Decorative Tiles

Supplies:
Plastic tablecloths
Tiles
Sharpies
Rubbing alcohol
Towels

1. Cover the tables with tablecloths.
2. Give sharpies and tiles to children. Unlike teens, you can give pens to children without too much worry. It’s the parents that will be totally freaking out at the thought of their child getting permanent markers on their clothes. Like the time we used tempura paints, this is one craft program you won’t hear any parents asking, “Is it okay if I leave my child here?”
3. Try not to laugh out loud as you see parents trying to pry pens out of their 6 year olds' hands because they look like they might be aiming for skin.
4. Clean up the tables with rubbing alcohol and paper towels.

I woke up this morning in the mood for ABBA. Maybe I needed a pick me up from the rainy weather. Maybe it’s the allergy medication traveling through my system. Whatever it is, I’m most likely going to go home, break out my ABBA sheet music and give it a try…after I take a long nap and eat takeout…

Having a Party

I will say that despite literally crawling into bed after almost passing out in the shower from exhaustion (and wondering if SPL has hazard pay) that hosting a big Dr. Seuss Day was totally worth it. Everyone had so much fun! There were those looks on the kids’ faces, and the happy looks on the faces of the fathers as they got to see Lance Briggs, and staff was happy to see him, too!

Briggs was extremely nice. He hung out in the staff room with his family beforehand and I heard someone say, “He’s sitting in that chair! We must never wash it!” Which I wasn’t even thinking of doing, meaning it will never get washed, so one wish down; what are your other two?

He read “Green Eggs and Ham” in the big purple chair with a gazillion people listening. Then he signed sign autographs and took pictures for 40 minutes. When trying to round up the staff I thought, “Staff would be upset if we don’t take a photo, but the guys my kill me if I don’t include them.”
Someone pointed out that I’m right next to Briggs in the photo. Yes, I am. After giving half of Logistics my cell number to work out, well, logistics, and breaking my nails while setting out parking cones while everyone else was meeting downtown, I would have happily elbowed the Pope to get by him.

You may also want to steer clear of me if I’m clothes shopping.

That said, Lance Briggs was the highlight of the day, but by no means the only thing going on. We did lots of stuff---crafts, storytimes, face painting, giveaways, refreshments, etc.--- that are easy to duplicate at any branch. When doing something big, thinking inside the box is actually more important than thinking outside of it. Thinking outside the box usually costs money. That’s fine for members of the Jersey Shore or if you’re married the future king of England (if his grandmother doesn’t succeed in living forever). The rest of the world has budgets. Besides, we already have the box---it’s sitting in your storage room…and under your desk...and in that room near the “dungeon,” aka, the scary storage space in Central’s basement. You are surrounded by and know how to do plenty of stuff already. Just do more of it at once. (And schedule a massage for the next day.)

Crafts: I’ve already posted instructions for all of these crafts. They just needed tweaking for the event.

Lanterns---Kids made lanterns from Dr. Seuss coloring sheets
Postcards---Dr. Seuss coloring pages were set 4 to a page and printed on the back of postcard templates.
Flags---More Dr. Seuss, this time in colorable flag form.

Napkins and gloves: We used the latex gloves from the janitorial closet (yes, they are food safe), and obtained napkins from the surplus supply list.

Face painting: Did you know YS has a face painting kit? What I thought would be some intricate hard-to-use mash up of paints was actually a colorful kit that looked like crayons. Though we brought in Just for Fun face painters from 3-5, we needed something for the smaller children who showed up from 1-3. A volunteer made painted simple designs that pleased your average toddler.

Storytime activities: I can honestly say I did not plan to do additional activities, but when some kids began to get restless I ended up shaking shaky eggs and flapping around like a bird.

Read to a Dog: Since we already have a regular service dog literacy program, I contacted the leader to see if additional dogs could come in.

Scooter the Safety Dog: Scooter was kind enough to join us for a storytime, so I called to see if he was available to visit that day. The children enjoyed the mascot (save for the ones who went screaming to their mommies) and Scooter’s handler read “The Lorax” to an enraptured crowed, and scooter also flapped his "wings" right along beside me for storytime activities.

Giveaways: People have commented that I have the cleanest children’s librarian space they’ve been to. This is because of my “Everything must go! Give it away, give it away, give it away now!” policy I developed towards kids stuff so that a certain librarian who shall remain nameless (she's the sup at CHS) wouldn't strangle me when we worked together. Unlike Twinkies, kids’ giveaways have a shelf life. Erasers die. Popular book titles get old. Paper looks like it’s been attacked by mice. You have about a 6 month window to turn your clutter into someone else’s prize before it starts slowly drifting into the trash column. We gave away books, pencils, bookmarks, tattoos (thanks Scooter!), and pretty much any item that wasn’t nailed down.

Volunteers: The volunteers were excellent. Even my nephew did a good job manning the giveaway table, though he complained, “Those kids kept mobbing me!” They came on time, if not early, stayed longer than I thought, and they were extremely hard working.

If you’re looking for something special to do for summer reading, don’t be afraid---go for it. And remember, even if you don’t have tons of cash to spend, there might be a boxed program or two (or five) you can borrow to help make that special day just so much more specialer.

Yes, that’s a made up word.

Spa Day!

One of my favorite pastimes is shopping. I’m good at it, plus it means I’m not at home about to half-strangle my teenage nephew for wearing that same gross sweatshirt I want to burn for three weeks straight to cover up that tattoo he got. If you don’t have teens at home, here’s the scoop: when children are toddlers you count to 10. When they are preschool age you count to 3. And when they’re teenagers, you just keep counting and hope that by the time they are 25 you’ll have stopped counting and your hair will still be its original color without the help of dye.

So while I’m out mumbling numbers to myself throughout the aisles while wishing my sister had a job that didn’t require travel, I buy gifts (already started on Christmas!), clothes that look familiar because I already own similar items, and items for future programs. After Christmas is a good shopping time. Others see red, green and stars and think of Christmas. I see red and think of Valentine’s Day; I see green and think of St. Patrick’s; and the stars have me thinking of pretty much every federal holiday between May and November. Thus when I was out after Easter one year, I didn’t simply see colorful baskets with a 90% of tag and think of delicious boiled eggs smeared in Miracle Whip; I thought of Mother’s Day…and how my brother made me look bad by buying Mom a Movado watch when I simply took her out to dinner and gave her a scarf.

Since he paid for that trip to Aruba I guess I’ll forgive him.

This basket is fairly easy to make, so a good pairing for it would be the Felted Soap box program. It’s also fairly cheap. That said, if you want a lot of baskets at a decent price, please call the store manager to make arrangements beforehand.

Spa Day Program Supplies:
Felted Soap box program
Easter baskets (or on sale gift bags if you can’t find them)
Mini body scrubbers (5/$1.00 at the Dollar Tree)
Bath salts (scroll for instructions and supplies)

Optional basket items:
Face towels (I found some bulk at Big Lots)
Mini bubbles (found in the wedding section in Target and other stores)
Tissue paper
Ribbon
Card
1. Make bath salts and felted soaps.
2. Arrange in the basket. Tissue paper at the bottom will make this look nicer. So will tying on a bow and inserting a card.

Bath Salt Supplies:
Epsom salts (bulk, or at the Dollar Tree)
Food coloring
Essential oils (Can buy at GNC for $5-$6 dollars)
Small containers for scooping (I use the containers from individual applesauce packages)
Ziploc bags (if this is for kids I let them just keep them in this)
Plastic baggies (NOT Ziploc) and ribbon (for teen and adult programs)
Volunteers

Optional salt containers:
Glass baby food jars or yogurt jars (from Trader Joe's---put out your feelers)
Rubber bands
Fabric squares (purchase at Joann’s)

The instructions are really straight forward. I print them out on 3 sheets of paper using 85 point Times New Roman font, set them out in a row on a table, and let people go down the line:

1. Place 1 scoop of salt inside a zip-top bag.
2. Place 2-3 drops of food coloring inside the bag. Seal and shake.
3. Add 1-2 drops of essential oil (see volunteer). Seal and shake.

Afterwards teens and adults can transfer their salts into plastic bags and tie it with ribbon. It you have glass jars place fabric squares overtop of the lids, secure with a rubber band, then tie on a ribbon.

Your finished product will look failry impressive for a "mere" library program, so if possible make up a basket beforehand and put it on display.



I'm still trying to let the death of Whitney Houston sink in. I got the text between discovering my nephew's tattoo and going to a party. At first I thought it was a joke, since I turned on the radio and, thanks to a lack of live DJs, the folks were talking about Chris Brown (at whom my nephew screams, "Woman beater! Woman beater!" whenever he sees him) and I figured my friend got it all wrong. Apparently she didn't. This is completely horrible, and I guess I'll spend some time watching the copy of The Bodyguard I bought last month, and continue singing "I Will Always Love You" in the shower (which I was I doing even before her passing).

We Like To Move It, Move It!

Tomorrow or Monday (or before the Mayan Apocalypse) I’ll post my personal feelings on The Help. But for now, you’ll have to be satisfied with tips on advertising.

Ever pass by those poor, unfortunate souls whose job it is to hold signs while dressed like inanimate objects? Simultaneously you think, “I wonder how many calories that burns…” and, “Wow, cell service for only $9.99 a month!” It’s catchy, but you won’t find any librarian dressed as a hot dog while doing the Running Man on the corner to advertise a cooking program.

At least not outside the Elk Grove Library.

Yet sometimes you feel as if you need to wear a sandwich board to get people into your programs, which is almost as unflattering as dressing as a questionable meat product. Programs are listed on Evanced, in calendar, but when you see stacks of flyers collecting dust you wonder if only you and the crickets for your event. However, you can get these flyers out the door in a method that doesn’t involve you tossing them in the recycle bin, cutting them into note paper, or standing at the door like a bouncer at a night club.

The reason many flyers are sitting about is the white and mint green bookmark that list tax prep info blends with the white and mint green bookmarks you set out last week that lists storytimes, which blends with the ones on some writing contest sponsored by professional wrestlers, which means none of them get moved out the door. But if you draw attention to them, about every 3rd person who asks about them will pick them up, and maybe, just maybe, take them home.

Moving the Bookmarks

Supplies:
Decorations
Library Bookmarks
Crayons
Pens
Ribbon and/or twine
Hole puncher
Scissors

1. The Eye Catcher
I brought this glittery red tree to the library several years ago after I bought it for myself but my family looked at me as if I needed an intervention. Yet it goes great with these flyers for our Dr. Seuss program featuring Chicago Bear Lance Briggs that happens on Friday, March 2nd from 1-5 pm.
2. The Post-Story Craft
I know, kids’ crafts are supposed to be interactive, but have you ever tried interactive with 80 people? Doesn’t work too well. So I give them bookmarks of upcoming events, chat up the event, then have them decorate the back with crayons, (washable!) pens and stickers. Kids love stickers. Even if you run out you’ll come over and see they’ve adhered the sticker outline to their forehead and are having fun running around, ‘cause that’s what you do when you’re 2 years old.
3. The Official Bookmark
This is the best one because it gives teen volunteers something to do (quietly, at a table far, far away from you), and it makes the bookmarks so attractive that people will spot it, pick it up, then come to the front desk to ask, “Can I have this?” Which is when you say, “That bookmarks for our Friday Stitch and Chat program, and we would love for you to keep one of those bookmarks.” Simply punch a hole in the top of the bookmark and tie on a ribbon or twine. (I colored the twine with a pen because I was desperate to use up stuff we already own.) Tapering the side with scissors is optional.

Hopefully these ideas will get the flyers flying out the library!

Rose Red (Or Pink)

This shorter blog will soon be followed by a longer blog because last Saturday I showed The Help. Seeing as this library gets so empty on Saturdays I’m surprised I don’t see tumbleweed rolling down the aisle, I was shocked when people not only came for the movie, they stayed for the discussion.

We talked.

And talked...

And kept talking.

Forty minutes later I wound the discussion down; some people stayed until almost 4 pm. They asked, “When’s the next movie discussion?” To which I thought, “Can I recover from this one?” Program prep translated into reading the book, watching the movie, creating questions, reading reviews and criticisims, and, of course, finding someone to operate the popcorn machine because I really didn’t feel like cleaning it.

So…

For those who want to know about “The Help” and get discussion questions, come back next week.

About that craft…

By now everyone knows how much I love paper and its dehydrating effects on my hands. So when I saw construction paper so old it gets a pension, I thought why not use it for Valentine’s postcards? It’s simple, you can’t tell the paper was bought during Regan’s first term, and it uses up our old flyers. This is good for drop in crafts.

Heart-Shaped Roses Postcards

Supplies:
Kiddy scissors (even if they beg for the sharp kind)
Tape
Construction paper---full sheets
Scrap paper---assorted colors
Old half-sheet bookmarks
Valentine’s postcard templates
Glue stick
1. Cut the full sheet construction paper into quarters; cut the postcard templates out. Cut the half-sheet flyers in half. Trim about ¼ of an inch off the top and one side.
2. Glue the template to one side of the postcard.
3. Glue the old flyer to the other side of the postcard.

4. Using scrap paper, cut out 5 heart shapes and stems. Tape the stems to the back of the flowers.
5. With the flowers face down, place arrange them in a bouquet and tape them to one another.
6. Tape the flowers to the front of the postcard, preferably with double-sided tape. If you would like to keep one as a sample, I recommend laminating it.

Someone got me thinking of old school R&B, so I hope you like Boyz II Men. Enjoy!

Easiest. Craft. Ever.

It’s nearly Valentine’s Day---time for chocolate, cards, and/or burning all of your ex’s stuff. It used to be you only hosted parties for happy events. “Look, I’m getting married/having a baby/cured my bad case of hangnails!” Now you can celebrate Anti-Valentine’s Day or throw a divorce party with a “Bring Your Own Bottle” note in the invitation. (Though technically speaking, many would say divorcing someone you loathe is a happy event, too.) Honestly, I was ready to leave that one after the cops showed up, but I was vetoed and had to stay until I crawled out to the car at 2 am while complaining, “I went to work today! Or yesterday! What day is it? Why did you have to put ‘no kids’ in the invite? What kind of crappy parent would even think to bring their kids to this type of party anyway?”

Don’t answer that.

Typically we make cards for Valentines, but depending on whom you send cards to (males), it can be a complete waste. My mother was ready to strangle my brother through the phone when she discovered he’d tossed her beautiful $6 Christmas card. In his defense he said, “What else did you want me to do with it?” Survey says: she wanted you to keep it. Not forever. But at least until January 1st. “From now on he gets the cheap cards!” Another relative didn’t even bother to open his card. His response: “Oh, I threw it away. Thanks for the gift.” I wish I had been there to see him digging through the dumpster when he discovered I’d put money in it. Had he not found the envelope I was completely ready to lie and say, “There was $500 in that envelope! I can’t believe you threw away $500! I should be reimbursed!”

That would have made it the second best Christmas ever.

So it is officially established cards are off the list for men, but what’s an alternative? The following is an easy craft perfect for children to give to their parents, broke teenagers to give to each other, and women to give that special someone that screams, “I like you, but you’re not particularly useful and your FICO score is too low for this to go to the next level.”

Decorative Mugs
Supplies:
Ceramic mugs from IKEA
Sharpies---assorted colors
Rubbing alcohol
Paper towels
A watchful eye
Chocolate (optional)

1. Number the Sharpies. Honestly, the hardest part of this craft is keeping track of the pens.

2. Give each person 1 mug and 1 pen. Explain that when they are done they have to return the pen.

3. If they complain about the pen's color and, “I want purple!” tell them whining is not attractive and they need to switch with another person because you’re not giving them 2 pens and that’s life.

4. Let them decorate the mugs.

5. After they are finished decorating (which takes a lot longer than it seems possible with all the talking) get back 1 pen from each of them, not letting them leave until every pen is accounted for.

6. If a teen tells you they don’t have a pen, explain they’d better make one materialize out of thin air or prove there’s a ghost in the room.

7. Realize that despite all your hard work, you will always be 1-2 pens short of what you started with. If this makes you feel bad, eat some chocolate.

8. Use rubbing alcohol and paper towels to clean up the tables should any ink get on them. If you can’t find rubbing alcohol use hand sanitizer.

This craft is so easy, I wish there was an IKEA right in Elk Grove, and I’m not just saying that because I like to mindlessly wander through the store while eating cinnamon rolls.

Honestly!

And now, time for the perfect Valentine's Day song...

Waiving the White Flag

Don’t you just love princesses? This Halloween my home was inundated with young girls hoping to live in the lap of luxury, marry rich, wear beautiful clothes, and have people wait on them hand and foot despite having few useful skills and zero talent whatsoever. Gee, does that remind you of anyone…

…I just can’t think of who that reminds me of.

Oh, well. I’m certain it will come to me later.

A good 30 princesses (and some adults who knew better) showed up on my porch before I got tired and poured enough candy into that last trick-or-treater’s pillow case to send her into a diabetic coma. I wasn’t feeling the whole royalty thing. Maybe it has something to do with that when a 5 year old boy dresses up as Spiderman, he won’t want to be Spiderman at age 18; but when a 5 year old girl dresses up as a princess, there’s a 1 in 3 chance she’ll be on a cable wedding show at age 30 throwing a tantrum over tiaras. Plus, if you really pay attention to the plotlines of any Disney movie, you’ll realize the message they send out, for lack of a better term, sucks.



See what I mean?

That said, this past summer reading we made princess flags.

Okay, they were really birthday flags, but I found all these crown stickers in the storage room that I needed to get rid of. Old craft material is like pencils---if you keep putting off using it one day you’ll take it out and discover the eraser is so old it’s hard enough to fly across the room and poke someone’s eye out, and then you’ll have to do paperwork. How awful! The birthday flag idea came out of the SR2011 binder. You know what they say, if all else fails, read the manual/directions/street sign. The thing is, if you look through your old binder (if it’s not buried in a pile of recycling) there are no actual directions on how to make them. So here it goes:

Birthday/Princess/Pirate/Dream Flags

Supplies:

Paper (old letterhead anyone?)
Scissors
Stickers
Chopsticks
Stapler (hopefully with staples actually in it)
Colored pencils, crayons and/or pens
Volunteers OR music to make the time go faster (Craft prep can be tedious...)

1. Wash your hands and wipe the inside of the stapler.
2. Fold paper in half lengthwise. Cut along the fold two make two sheets. Set one aside for later.

3. Fold your half sheet in half. If it’s used, make sure the writing is on the inside.

4. Wrap the paper around the narrower end of the chopstick (to prevent the paper from falling off).
5. Staple the top and bottom near the chopstick. You may have to (gently) fold the paper in half to do this. Place on staple in the center right-side opening.
6. Rinse and repeat.

The nice thing about this craft is you can have volunteers prep the flags weeks ahead of time, set them in a box, and have everything ready for label. Just be sure to label the box, so as not to forget and leave the box laying around until 2014.

Enjoy!

The Teen Lantern

It’s been a while since I last blogged---I was preparing for the Iowa Caucuses with my “Election Season Should Only Last 6 Weeks Because We’re All Sick of You” platform.

(For those of you non-news watchers, I came in second behind Romney.)

Anyways, I recently opened an e-mail discussing summer reading program ideas, reached back through my pecan pie-induced brain fog and remembered that yes, this was discussed at the last Youth Services meeting. And all I could think is, “Nooooooo! It’s too early! I just barely remembered to block off the meeting room for April programs!” Because prepping for summer reading is like going to the mall right after Christmas and discovering that management is already merchandising the bikinis---it’s a reminder to drop the mouth-watering, succulent turkey drumstick out of your hand and dust off your gym membership.

Or at least buy some workout clothes.

Whatever the case may be, I decided to do lanterns. It’s something that all age groups can make. Besides, libraries may be low on money to buy, say, books, but we’re not running out of paper any year soon. Just the accidental one-line prints patrons leave behind are enough to keep our areas decorated with paper snowflakes for decades. And paper crafts seemed safer than doing anything on dream interpretation. Adults have issues, teens have issues, and think about all the issues kids must have, especially babies. Every night all babies likely dream about is people’s giant heads being right up in their faces and saying things they don’t understand like, “Goo goo, gaa gaa,” and “You’re going to have to figure out your own way to pay for college.” Still, lanterns seemed a little boring, and I needed to jazz it up a bit, hence, the Starry Night lantern. It combines the best of my creativity with a pre-made program listed in the summer reading binder, and it's fairly easy.

Supplies:
Paper
Colored pencils
Washable markers
Safety scissors
Rulers
Stapler

Tape

1. Color the Starry Night coloring sheet linked on the Enchanted Learning site.
To format, go into Print Preview. Turn off the headers, change the orientation to Landscape, change the custom enlargement to 215%, and set all margins to 0.3.

2. Fold the paper in half along the long side, picture-side out. Reverse the fold, turn it picture-side in.

3. Follow the lantern making instructions.

But why limit it to just Starry Night? You can color Sponge Bob or Dora the Explorer, or use Twilight coloring pages---yes, they do exist. (Scary, isn't it?)

Some call it love. I call it pedophilia. Everybody calls it a cash cow.

Stay tuned for more craft posts to come!

And We're Off!

ALA New Orleans is right around the corner and I have been packing my bags---sans more than 3 ounces of liquid per containers that can fit in a 1 quart plastic bag, of course. It's a joy and a pain to go on a trip. First I had to make storytime arrangements and clean at work. Thanks to Stephenee, the Pink Piggy Song is already on YouTube, so that was one less melody I had to repeatedly sing to the other staff members. Then I had to clean at home. Though I don't live alone, it's nice to return to a nice clean haven. And if it's not clean, I have someone to else to not only blame for this mess, I can make it seem like they are responsible for all other messes created in my vicinity since the Reagan administration. Packing was actually the easiest thing, except for the part in which I poured my hair care products into tiny unmarked tubes. Thankfully I’m flying Southwest, the only airline that seems to realize people don’t wear all their clothes on top of each other like Shirley temple did in that movie I saw on TCM.

This is my most favorite time of the year: dress up time! I try to wear nice things to conference because, hey, I’m a librarian. Chances are slim to none for librarians to meet famous people once in their lives, let alone twice. Must make a good impression the first (and only) time around. It’s a time of year in which I get little sleep because I jam pack my schedule. It’s soooo exhilarating to run from one overlapping class to another and another while sweating profusely in nice clothes. And it’s also a time of year in which I just might get to see my family, only this time I’m doing on purpose and I won't screech at my mother, “You weren’t suppose to tell them I was in Chicago!”

This here is my niece. Isn’t she gorgeous? She looks even better without the lamination reflections. I’m looking forward to seeing her…if my brother can get the logistics together. After all, this is the brother I was supposed to see last week but didn’t. (His fault!) He also sent us to the wrong airport for his wedding, then tried to convince me that it was my idea. (It wasn’t!) So while I look forward to seeing her (and the high school graduation pictures he took of me but never gave me), I also signed up for a free cocktail party that night to avoid anyone seeing me crying in a bar. Alone. By myself. With no one. (Yes, I've learned guilt-tripping from my mother.) And I’d be crying because I want to see my family, and not because alcohol at non-library functions comes out of my pocket instead of a vendor's.

I used my niece’s cute little picture for our Mother’s Day placemat sample. If you, too, would like to make a this craft, it’s fairly simple.

1. Put up your sample work 2 weeks before the program and encourage people to bring adorable pictures from home.
2. Print out words on card stock (Mommy’s Little Angel, Baby’s First Christmas, Toddler’s Third Tantrum, etc.)
3. If you do not have a die-cut machine, have teenage "volunteers" cut out cute little flowers/3 leaf clovers/make homemade confetti with the hole punch.
4. Set out glue sticks, stickers, etc. and let people create their own piece of art. (Word of advice---don’t make the mistake of leaving a stray foam sticker or two in the mix.)
5. Have a volunteer laminate the placemat.

Hopefully, if I'm not too busy roaming in search of free food, I will blog from the conference instead of saving it up. Have fun---I will!

M. Butterfly

I haven’t blogged in a loooonnngg time.

No, it wasn’t just because I was busy watching the final season of the Oprah Winfrey Show. (My chances of winning a free trip to Australia have drastically plummeted…) Blogging is like exercising. When you’re into it, you’re into it. You have your cute gear on, your hair is up in a bouncy ponytail, your lipstick is on but your foundation is off--- it’s pretty hard to work out with L’Oreal running into your eye. When you’re not into exercise, you’re lying on the couch eating sugar cookies and channel flipping while wondering why that Nora Roberts' movie you swore you were going to watch last year is taking up valuable space on your DVR. What usually gets you up is either you realize you’re expected to fit into a swimsuit---a real one, not a string-one-size-fits-all-bikini. Or someone says, “Hey, did you know you’re morphing with the sofa?”

So when someone recently pointed out that I hadn’t blogged in a while, I thought, why not? There are plenty of books and crafts and TMI things I have to share, and not just with SPL librarians on SharePoint. All the adult participants of my craft programs want to know how to do some of the cooler crafts without having to comb through 15 books filled with impossible to make cards that require wire clippers, blow torches, and 2 weeks of planning.


I came up with this card after going online and realizing a lot of kids card crafts are ugly. Yes, I said it. Ugly. Hideous. Just plain wrong. You smile when they give them to you, but part of you wants to go all Tiger Mom and scream, “This is garbage! But I only say that because I love you…” I started thinking of how to jazz things up when my inner-Martha Stewart took over. The thing is, Sharpies and White Out are not items you want to turn over to a group of children, thus the butterflies were made beforehand. It’s not as difficult as, say, making the Four Season’s duck recipe (takes four days), but there is a learning curve. Sad to say, I can now turn out a butterfly in about 90 seconds, which means I surely have brain damage from the fumes.

Materials:
Card stock
Orange paper
Black sharpies
White out
Colored paper---yellow, plus colors of your choosing
Scratch paper
Glue sticks

Nice to have:
Volunteers
A room with ventilation (or a rock to throw through the window since ours don’t open)

For the card base:

1. The writing.
There are several ways to go with this. I printed “You are the sunshine of my life” directly onto my model card, but for the program I printed out cute sayings on colored paper to allow the kids to pick from. For the inside, I printed out poems to glue inside.

2. The flowers.
Find your desired flower template. Create two flowers using this template. Then take the second flower and trim the perimeter so that it can one flower can sit atop the other. Use these two different sizes to create masses of flowers. (Or e-mail me for some leftovers.) I traced a glue stick onto yellow paper for the center of the flower. (Please don’t tell the kids you are making the ovary of the flower---this will bring up questions you don’t want to answer.)

For the butterflies:

1. Make butterflies using orange paper.
We didn’t have a die cut machine, so we used Elk Grove High School students desperate for volunteer assignments that didn’t involve picking trash off the side of the road. If you need a template Central has this die cut shape, or I can send something over via inter-office mail.

2. Place the butterfly on scratch paper. Fill in the body and outline the shape with a black sharpie. Draw lines in the center bisecting lines.


3. Begin drawing in the other lines.
This is something you might not want to hand over to a sophomore who needs 10 hours of community service by tomorrow. If you don’t have time to closely supervise this work, only let trusted volunteers do this part.



4. Dot the lines created in step two with White Out.
Err on the side of stingy dots. You can draw over your mistakes on the black lines, but you can’t “white out” orange paper. Afterwards go outside and breath fresh(er) air.


5. After it is dry, flip over and repeat.
I only did the middle and right side of the other side, since the left part of it will not show.
6. Bend the butterfly in half.
You don’t want a crisp fold because the butterfly will look less perched-on-a-flower than it will look squashed-under-a-shoe.

7. Remember that perfection is the enemy of Getting Things Done.
Yes, it would have been nice if all the butterflies turned out perfectly. They won’t. Some staff members helped out and said, “I’m sorry, but mine doesn’t look like yours do.” My response: “So? They’re kids. I’m not worrying that an 8 year old might complain that the line’s not perfect.”

Putting it all together:

1. Do the inside of the card first, so as not to mess up the outside.
This is the time to glue in poems, love letters, baby pictures, ultrasounds, etc.

2. Glue the saying and flower(s) onto the front of the card.
Some kids will go all out and layer 3 dozen. Whatever floats their boats is fine.

3. Glue the butterfly atop the card.

And there you have it. I really don't know how long this craft takes because I broke it into many different parts, but the kids loved it and were really impressed. Of course children are also impressed by the magic of jello and finding pennies on the ground, but I take what I can get. Enjoy!

PARC and Wreckreation

Was I the only one to breathe a sigh of relief when the PARC system temporarily went down?

After weeks of, “OMG, I don’t know what I’m doing!” and an hour long training that made me certain that yes, I was completely clueless, there was a part of me---I believe it was my brain---that made me grateful to have a bit longer to figure this out. Who would have thought I’d be nostalgic for the old paper system? Let’s see, 1 hour spent on my 2009 evaluation vs. months spent pulling out my hair trying to determine the meaning of life. And it’s not even the unwanted hair I’m pulling out, so we really have a problem.

Honestly, do I really need goals? My job consists of telling people where to find Magic Tree House books, avoiding paperwork, pointing out where the bathrooms are, telling teens lower the volume on their iPods if they hope to have any hearing left by the time they hit the old age of 25, playing movies, telling stories to classes, and making crafts, mainly paper bag puppets, with toddlers. So far we have made a pig, a cow, a dog, a cat, a bunny, a lion, and even a Christmas tree complete with presents and bows. Go figure. After looking at my schedule and discovering I’ll put on over 130 programs over the next year (movie nights, toddler times, class tours, DCA, summer reading) I think maybe my goal should be to stop looking at craft sites and other library systems’ events calendars and saying, “I wanna do that!”

But a person has to have real goals, right? So I thought about it and created a few that should do the trick:

1. Lose the inches I’ve put on since I started working here.

Time line: By my class reunion.

Is it measurable: Very!

I’d feel better if I went down a size. In turn, I would treat people better. In time this kindness would trickle down to actual patrons. In order for this to happen, an hour of my shift should involve hitting the gym, with another hour devoted to taking a shower and doing my hair. Since I’d feel more comfortable showering at home, where I have all my products and won’t tell a fellow bather, “Those are fake,” I need another hour for travel time, plus one more to get a massage at Mellow Me Out to relieve the tension.

2. Not strangle anyone.

Timeline: Ongoing

Is it measureable: Yes, by number of incident reports.

Adults are not too happy that they can’t use kids’ computers. I get so many complaints. The majority of them boiling down to they are doing their kids homework for them helping their kids out, or the reservation sent them downstairs because they’ve been using their kids’ cards to avoid paying the $700 fine they owe. Then I get the stray adults who want to sit in the purple chair, lay on the bean bags, and are most upset that they have to take the elevator up to the 2nd floor to get to a bathroom when it’s so much easier to walk down a flight of stairs and to the ends of the earth to use ours. Whatever it is, they’re not happy with me, and the feeling is reciprocal. I’d hate to hurt one of them and end up in jail while waiting for my lawyer to get me off scot-free. Jail may have worked out for Martha Stewart, but I’ll take a pass.

3. Stop buying things from patrons.

Timeline: Ongoing

Is it measureable: Yes, in the amount of money I save.

Whether it’s candy or pizza, somehow I am guilted into buying items I don’t need, don’t want, and can’t use in order for some kid to get to Sly Park, Sutter’s Fort, or some other miserable, God forsaken middle-of-nowhere, don’t-know-why-they’d-want-to-go-there place. Can’t anyone go anyplace nice with air conditioning, indoor plumbing, and something entertaining to do? I have yet to have a child say to me, “My class is doing a spa retreat in Carmel and we could really use your help getting there.” Instead I’m wasting my (sometimes) hard earned money so a kid can get frostbite while panning for fool’s gold in the dead of winter.

4. Read more juvenile books.

Timeline: Ongoing

Is it measureable: Quiz me.

The only time I seem to have to read kids’ books (discounting board books and Where’s Waldo) is when I’m on a trip. I read The True Meaning of Smekday during a Thanksgiving gathering at a vacation resort, and The Lightning Thief on my flight to Florida. Seems to me it is in SPL’s best interest to send me on as many trips as possible to enhance my reader’s advisory skills. I’ve always wanted to go to the French Riviera. Just think of all the books I can read on the way over!

I’d write more goals, but I have to be realistic. These four will be hard enough to accomplish.