Thursday, April 16, 2009

7 1/2 Suggestions

Since I completely skipped over the first few assignments, I had to backtrack a bit and do some 7 1/2 OMG-not-another-power-point-presentation-say-it-ain't-so thing. I have speakers at my desk (the better to hear Robin Thicke with, my pretty) thus I also skipped having to use the yellow earphones we lend out to small children which are likely infected with something even Lysol won't kill. Here's what happened:

1st Slide: What is learning?
If you can read that slide most likely sometime, somewhere in your life, you've learned something.

Next: How do we learn?
They give us a bunch of choices, like TV, movies, books and from socializing. Well here are some of the things I've picked up from all that:

---Don't stay in room 1408.
---Don't have more than 4 kids. Ever.
---Don't have more than 2 kids unless you have a nanny.
---Don't have any kids if you like vacations and enjoy getting a full night's rest.
---Unattractive slacker men can easily land attractive women with futures.
---Rich people aren't happy because money doesn't buy happiness.
---Unless you were a hooker who is picked off the streets by Richard Gere who cleans you up, takes you to the opera, and forgets about all the non-trashy women he could marry.
---Poor people are happy.
---But only if your definition of poor includes home owners with live in help.
---Nice white ladies can do anything.
---People with bad hair and ugly clothes are outbreeding the rest of the population.
---Liquor before beer, all in the clear.
---"Oh, she won't get pregnant that way."

(Yes, because you can always trust what your social circle tells you, LOL)

Then there's some other slides, followed by things/items/suggestions/orders.

Official Rule #1: "Begin with the end in mind."
You mean like lose 30 pounds in 30 days?

#2: "Accept responsibility for your own learning."
Especially since we're too old to get our parents to co-sign for student loans.

#3: "View problems as challenges."
"This I no buy." Sometimes problems aren't challenges. Sometimes problems are just problems, and that's what makes them suck so much. Got it?

#4: "Have confidence in yourself as a competent, effective, learner, yada, yada, yada."
Cue the music. (To dream the impossible dream!)

#5: "Create your own learning toolbox."
Junk drawer. Check.

#6: "Use technology to your advantage."
Yesterday I used my ATM card to pay off my Visa. I think that counts.

#7: "Teach/mentor others."
I already do that. I've discovered trying to mentor a teen is the perfect way to get him to put down the Xbox controller, get off my couch and actually go home.

#7 1/2: "Play"
Yeah, like that's not going to end up in our evaluations.

Okay, let's be honest, just for a moment. (If you're not used to being honest, pretend you're hooked up to a polygraph machine.) Reading this made me feel like I was on one of the touchier Oprah episodes, only without the keys to a brand new car under my seat to make me feel better. Especially when it talked about making a contract with (as opposed to on) yourself. (Am I on the Clean Up Your Messy House Tour or something?)

Because I've done this before.

Haven't we all done this before?

We've all written contracts to ourselves on how we'll lose weight, save money, and stop making fun of our family members while they're in the room. And most of the time it doesn't work. Why? Because we like cookies, shiny new objects, and some of our family members are dopes we wouldn't be caught dead with if it weren't for some minor genetic quirk that makes us related; picking at them is a form of combating insanity.

So what IMO should we be doing with our time?

Eat That Frog!

A few weeks ago I picked up this book by Brian Tracy. Here's the Readers Digest version: figure out what's most important for you to do in life and focus only on those things in order of importance until they are done. I can write contracts until the earth is swallowed by the sun. My bathroom looked like a bulletin board, it had so many contracts/morning mantras/lies-I-tell-myself posted. But nothing matters if I don't JUST DO IT! Thus, while I appreciate someone saying I should write a contract with myself, I'm probably skipping it.

Think of it this way---I'm not avoiding doing an assignment.

I'm saving a tree.

This has nothing to do with the blog, but I just love this video.


  1. Once you have four or more kids, aren't you supplying your own in-home help?

  2. Not unless you attach electronic anklets which shock the kids if they try to escape. Plus, besides sweat shop workers, have we ever seen kids really do any work?

  3. you actually had a point to that one. and then came the video. love it!

  4. Yeah, thanks for video. It's OK to watch at work because you posted it on a 27 things blog!